Plague Rats (consultants) (previous quotes now in a PDF file)

Explanation of 'reverse brief':
'The words ‘reverse brief' referred to in Reference Group correspondence appear to be being used to describe a possible redefinition of the master plan focus and a redesign of its fundamental brief.
This is not the genesis or the context of the expression ‘reverse brief', in this instance.
Due to the nature of Prof. Paul Carter's presentation to us we requested he provide us with a ‘reverse brief' to better articulate his professional services and allow us to negotiate a scope of work.  
Whilst his work will hopefully result in a profoundly improved foundation for the master planning, the expression ‘reverse brief' merely describes the process of communication for now. 
In respect of the concern's [sic] of xxx manifestation of Material Thinking's concepts are fundamental to their appointment and will be monitored closely through the delivery.' Sent to people with the message: ' I hope this explanation assists'. We doubt it.

'The nature of our business has enabled us to develop enduring, meaningful relationships with our clients supported by our commitment to maintaining the highest standards of quality of advice and ethics and integrity in everything we do... In terms of your relationship with your adviser, very little will change... centralising many of the functions we currently replicate, such as business administration platforms, and back office systems and procedures. Together, we are excited and enthusiastic about our ongoing cooperation and collaboration and the prospect of further jointly developed initiatives that will create benefits for our clients now, and in to the future... This is an exciting development in the growth of our company...'
From an updated Financial Services Guide from Shadforths. Thanks to Sam for what he describes as 'weasel word wizardry'.

Combining five decades of hands-on experience with the very latest methods for managing the modern workplace, we partner with your leaders, management and staff to deliver proven solutions to identify, resolve and minimise risks in the workplace.'
Converge International who provide 'Employee Assistance Programs'. Thanks to Phoebe

'Futures Alchemy: the fusion of foresight, insight and creativity. Our futures intelligence work is alchemical in nature. We take the raw ingredients for success; add the revelation of foresight, the depth of insight, and the spark of creativity that transforms the lead of the present into the gold of the future. Designer Futures provides a range of advanced strategic foresight services to help you explore your potential and create the future you prefer.

Designer Futures is a network of foresight analysts, futurists, intergenerational interpreters, researchers, policy developers, emergent strategists, impact assessors and new creatives.'
Thanks to Leah who comments: 'Wow. Clever of them.'

Human Capital

'We work at a strategic level to understand an organisation's human capital needs so that targeted solutions can be designed and implemented to meet business objectives.'
Human Capital Management Systems

'Our goal is to help you to attain the best Human Capital Management outcomes possible.'
PeopleStreme

'We will provide human capital solutions with intelligent workflow making your people more productive, innovative & strategic. By partnering with us your organisation will become more competitive, profitable & valuable.'
EmployeeConnect

'Challenges surrounding integration and data quality are currently taking precedence over the need to improve the analytic capabilities of HR personnel. However, previous research and leading practices suggest that companies that successfully leverage human capital information do more than just focus on developing data standards and connecting systems. Not only do they provide key metrics that can improve workforce productivity and performance, they also enable their HR personnel to translate human capital data into executable strategy.'
Unlocking the DNA of the Adaptable Workforce. The Global Human Capital Study 2008 Executive Summary

'Measurement of performance with no indication of priority forces stakeholders to rely on their own judgements as to what is the most important value driver.'
'Weighing up the value of human capital', Human Resources Magazine

'Fresh is rejuvenated and ready to show you how our Fresh solutions and effective creative can benefit your business ... Fresh can assist you to analyse and define your brand goals, create and develop your new brand and corporate identity, or reposition, redesign and revitalise your existing brand to meet your corporate strategic goals.'.

'Assisting Organisations to Aquire & Retain the Best Talent through the Development & Integrated Delivery of Innovative People Management Systems and Solutions.'
PageUp Software Solutions - thanks David.

'The Team will facilitate a Visioning Session with each neighborhood in their hometown. The session’s purpose is to encourage and foster collaborative efforts among all critical neighborhood stakeholders involved in the successful implementation and management of the principals, strategies and recommendation’s of the Neighborhood Revitalization Action Plan.'
Vernon Gustafsson, Carter & Burgess, Associate, Project Manager, Sr-Urban Design & Planning, Detroit.
From a request to schedule a meeting by a private firm contracted by the State of Michigan to implement a grant. Thanks to Kevin Mackey who comments: 'By the way, the "Neighborhood Revitalization Action Plan" is what they are supposed to write, and it doesn't exist yet.'

'This presentation will share with you what donorCentricsTM is, explaining this benchmarking service that facilitates peer organisation comparison of donor lifecycle behaviour and fundraising program performance, and provides a forum for cross-organisational collaboration and the sharing of best practices in fundraising.'
From an email invitation to a webcast on a new analysis service for fundraisers. Thanks to Rosemary Swift

'Collective Cognition in Action: Accumulation, Interaction, Examination, and Accommodation in the Development and Operation of Group Efficacy Beliefs in the Workplace.'
Title from a recent paper by Gibson & Earley from the Academy of Management Review. Thanks to Neal Waddell who points out: ' It announces “Action” and yet reduces eight verbs to nominalisations.'

'Across all industries, executives are demanding more value from their strategic business processes. What process is strategic to a given company may vary dramatically by industry, but a common theme is that CEOs want their IT organizations to measurably improve the flow of data and information driving key business decisions.'
Progress.com Thanks to Alex

'Toll FM is structured to deliver maximum strategic input, management control and service flexibility while reducing cumulative overheads and costs and deliver value for money...'
Thanks to Marc who paraphrases PJ O'Rourke's weasel-esque words test: if you can randomly move the words around in a sentence, and it still makes as much sense as it did before, you know you're reading crap.

'Judith Glazer is an innovative change consultant who specialises in helping leaders when they are at intersections of change or transformation in their companies ... Leaders are also taught how to reshape their companies' genetic code ... by teaching them how to graft practices into their patterns of engagement.'
A seminar by Judith E Glazer from Benchmark Communications, (thanks to Sue Krige)

'Our aim is to add value to your design solutions by reducing the cost of production and increasing operational efficiency through our outsourcing model. '
InCreative Design Solutions Australia (thanks to Jane McDougall)

'When Michael Schiller, a management consultant, wanted to talk with his 15-year-old daughter about where she was going with her friends, he told her, "You have to recognize your ARAs and measure against them." '
From 'Corporate lingo pulls a home invasion' by Jared Sandberg, 30 October, The Wall Street Journal

'In London, New York, Paris, Milan, Barcelona and Melbourne, the same pattern is beginning to reveal itself: shopping is emerging as art, as cultural exchange, as immersive experience, as a way of learning.'
The Future Laboratory Melbourne Retail Strategy

'Within the city and its environs there exists a core strength of difference and diversity ... As a more culturally and ethnically diverse and design-aware traveller takes to the skies, ‘intangible' factors are increasingly driving consumer buy-in.
The Future Laboratory Melbourne Retail Strategy

'Delivering value-added solutions and innovative outcomes'
Howard Partners, public policy consultants [thanks to Stephen Pigott]

'Because of the difficulty in determining the difference between a problem and an opportunity and because there are many negative implications in using the word "problem", the word probortunity has been created. Probortunity is the merging of the word "problem" and "opportunity". '
From the folks at brainstorming.co.uk (thanks to Dean)

(previous quotes now in a PDF file)

Back to the top