'Most educated people don't realise how little impression abstract words make on the average man.' George Orwell
song: barefoot on the grass roots 'It came into the corporations beginning in the late 1980s as a way of calming people down during layoffs. You send the laid-off people to the out-placement firm, where they get pep talks on changing their attitude. The survivors need motivational speakers so they can do the work of two people.' Barbara Ehrenreich, interviewed on Bloomberg.com about her new book: Bright-Sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America.
'BELONGING? COMMUNITY? SHARED VALUES? These, surely, have become the weasel words of contemporary social analysis. Overblown and overplayed, they have been robbed of much of their meaning. They have come to sound more like mantras than social goals.'
'Just as the US government rebranded the War on Terror as The Fight for a Better World in 2005, so many of us have abandoned the real, truthful yet uncomfortable word problem, and substituted the blandly depressing issue instead. It's the worst type of weasel word.'
From the archives:
'We will provide human capital solutions with intelligent workflow making your people more productive, innovative & strategic. By partnering with us your organisation will become more competitive, profitable & valuable.' EmployeeConnect |
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'Siemens is actively working in collaboration with the Metro team; the company reiterates that there are no problems with the brake system on the Siemens trains. There are many reasons why a train may have braking issues, including track adhesion, human machine interface, equipment malfunction, train speed and weather conditions ... The Chief Executive of Metro acknowledges that this is a complete system topic and that there are many factors involved in the current investigation ... Siemens is committed to safety; we continue to test our trains and our regular service checks prove that Siemens trains are functioning normally. We will continue to work closely with Metro to make sure that all Siemens trains are operational.' Paul Bennett, Vice President, Mobility, Siemens Ltd response regarding recent train reports, Melbourne, 25 January 2010. Thanks to Simon Longstaff. ____________________________________________________ Thought Leader: job title spotted by John Ford who says: 'Sounds like a hypnotist to me. Maybe that is what he has to do.'
'What's comedic about this is that the very evening after the forum, the hit NBC show “30 Rock” poked fun at terms like these. In one particular scene of Thursday's episode, the main character, Liz Lemon, is convincing her boss, Jack Donaghy, to allow their staff to go to Miami. Liz has a poster board that simply reads, “Miami = Synergy,” and she proceeds to say to Jack, “Cross-promotional, deal mechanics, revenue streams, jargon, synergy.” Jack responds, “That's the best presentation I've ever seen. Get started right away.”' Trendy jargon may dazzle, but plain English is better, Purdue Exponent, 25 Jan 2010
'Result Packaging P/L...Enhancing Customer Engagement' Thanks to Peter who says, 'I was propped behind this ute at the lights and almost bit my steering wheel off in frustration when I read the advertising logo blurb. 'Diversity goes beyond the concept of rectifying the disadvantage of target groups by emphasising the importance of an inclusive DSE culture and of valuing difference between individuals and communities. While we should aim to be inclusive in all our work, at times it may be necessary to tailor the engagement processes and activities to enable some communities or individuals to fully participate.'From the Department of Sunstainability and Environment Victoria website which details its "Diversity (Inclusion) Action Plan 2009-2012". 'Big words don't equal a bigger brain. It has been said that intelligent people who are confident in their message and passionate about what they do don't need obscure language to communicate. In fact, studies have shown that professional communication filled with jargon comes across as rude, disingenuous or obnoxious while clearly expressed messages are perceived as energetic, truthful and friendly.' 'Buzz off, and leave jargon out of communications' by John McFerran. 16 Jan 2010. Winnipeg Free Press. 'As part of Energy Australia's Customer Supply Installation Safety Plan and the Bushfire Risk Management Plan, Energy Australia has now implemented a significant risk identification and management strategy on our electrical infrastructure...' From an Energy Australia's inspection report. Thanks to Isabel. 'What sort of rain event are we talking about? 'Sebastian, the Ragan Communications editor, jokes that you'd never say: ''Hi honey, you really thought outside the box with that dinner -- those deliverables with the fresh vegetables were outstanding.'' So why talk that way in the office?' 'Workplace Lingo: The Good and Bad of Office Jargon'. Associated Press, 11 Jan 2010 'They have a strong track record in achieving value-for-money outcomes that build real organisational and individual leadership capability delivered in an action-oriented way that promotes sustainable behavioural change.' A consultant's application for federal funding. Thanks to Susan. 'Open the double leadlight front doors and the wood-panelled hallway immediately establishes an atmosphere of solid, family values.' A house advertised in Domain in the Melbourne Age. Dysfunctional families need not apply.'The Examinations Officer has the specific responsibility for delivering a high quality customer-focused, thesis examination service and administration for examinations of Research Higher Degree students.' Job at
the University of Melbourne School of Graduate Research. Thanks to
Kieran Crichton. '3,700 elephants found in offices last year (along with other meaningless jargon)' 5 January 2010 by Clare Baillie. NEWS.Scotsman.com 2. The Most Slippery Corporate Euphemism for Job Cuts goes to the Nokia Siemens merger for this abomination: "Synergy-related head count restructuring." ... 'Libraries are community spaces. Conversations which do not disturb others are welcome'. A team leader's suggested replacement for 'No talking' signs, sorry, public signage. Thanks to Patrick. 'A... fruit driven dry white'. Charlie Myres read this on a Yalumba unwooded chardonnay cask wine. 'The work will be broadly described, flexibly structured, complex and have a frontier or explorative nature ... (We need to) ensure the intentionality of activity...' From the Australian Public Service. Thanks to Chris McGregor. 'Des Moines' Bill Stowe ... uttered this gem a couple of days ago: "It's pretty clear this is going to be a plowable event at some point ..." Plowable event? You're not going to clog my driveway with this event, are you?' Iowans digging out from weather jargon, desmoinesregister.com 'The CIMA qualification has given me the professional framework to add value to any decision making process.' James Bruce FCMA, Unilever.
Advertisement in "The Economist- The World in 2010", London 2009. Thanks to Frank Maguire. 'I haven't broken it up - I've reconfigured it!' Amanda's husband's response to her accusation that he had broken up the family when he left her and their child. |
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| New book from Don Watson
Management-speak has triumphed. It has made much of our everyday language dull, dimwitted and meaningless. To sound professional, you must express everything in abstract nouns, and each noun in terms of another one; you must talk about synergy and strategy, uptake and outcomes and outputs and inputs, key performance indicators and drivers and customer experience - even if your 'customers' are in fact patients in a hospital. Your words will be obscure and indigestible. You will conform to the new way. You will surrender the ability to write and speak with spontaneity or clarity and, with prolonged use, even your ability to think clearly. From Don Watson, the author of Death Sentence and Weasel Words, comes this new assortment of noxious management drivel and financial-market blather. Read them aloud - then try the exercises. The disease may not yet have run its course, but Watson's acerbic wit restores hope in the power of well-chosen words to entertain and to inspire. Other books by American Journeys
It's Watson's "and yet" that gives American Journeys its splendid momentum, its serious, relentless probing of what matters...' 'Don Watson has written a profound and deeply personal work that makes for itself a place in the great tradition of American journeys.' Glyn Davis, Australian Book Review Watson's Dictionary of Weasel Words, Contemporary Cliches, Cant & Management Jargon, Random House Australia 2004, 2nd edition 2005
'Read the introduction. Death Sentence: The Decay of Public Language Random House Australia, 2003 (in UK: Gobbledygook, Atlantic 2004, in the US: Death Sentences, Gotham, 2005) 
'Captures the powerlessness and frustration we feel when confronted by meaningless words delivered with authority.' Los Angeles Times Read this interview with Don Watson 'Everything is outcomes-based. Running a chook farm is outcomes based. Being a chook is outcomes-based.' |
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