Don Watson

In the beginning

When Don Watson wrote Death Sentence (in UK - Gobbledygook, Atlantic, in US - Death Sentences, Gotham Books) a torrent of letters and emails began from people rebelling against managerial language and in July 2004 this website was facilitated going forward. 

Since then Watson's Dictionary of Weasel WordsContemporary Clichés, Cant & Management Jargon, Bendable Learnings and Worst Words have been published. Below are some recent weasel words examples.

Send in a quote

Send in your examples of management jargon (we may edit for space). Please make sure you include your contact details as well as details about where your submission came from, the date and who was the culprit. 

Please note, unless you request confidentiality, your name will appear under your contribution. Send your weasel words to: empower@weaselwords.com.au. Anything published on this site is fair comment.

Cascading principle

"It's a principle that we'll be cascading through the company." NAB insider, 'NAB launches staff simplification program', The Australian, 7 Dec, 2017.

Solutionary

One of the Values of the newly formed Snowy Monaro Regional Council in NSW. Thanks to Kath.

Products - aka weather warnings

'I think we've got some work to do [with the bureau] with some of the products.' Victorian Emergency Management Commissioner Craig Lapsley, The Age, 4 December, 2017.

Living the team values

'We just won a Shield game for WA and one of our values is to celebrate success. We were as a team and a group.'  
Australian test cricketer, Cameron Bancroft, interview 27/11/17

Accelerated business outcomes

'Probe Group delivers accelerated business outcomes backed by tested Business Process Outsourcing (BPO) capabilities and end-to-end solutions. Talk to our friendly team about the benefits of business process outsourcing in your world.'

Isobel is a help point in customer centric month. Thanks to anonymous.

Optimised non-linear trajectory

Something the Australian government has called for in relation to emissions reduction. Thanks to Ric Sandblom who doesn't know what it means, and neither do we.

entrepreneurship integration

' X will provide strategic leadership and support for entrepreneurship integration as a whole-of-university leadership role through student attraction and the broader student experience.' Message to staff from the Vice Chancellor at Swinburne University. Thanks to anonymous.

to conceptualise the move from norm contestation as dialogic process to norm implementation

'This presentation responds to the burgeoning norms literature in International Relations (IR) that conceptualises the norm life-cycle as a non-linear dynamic process that is open to contestation and change of ‘meanings in use’....

In this presentation I claim that in order to conceptualise the move from norm contestation as dialogic process to norm implementation as a process that weaves norms into the fabric of institutions in their day-to-day politics and routine practices, there is a need to bring IR norms theory into a fruitful engagement with sociological theory on lawmaking. Socio-legal approaches account for institutional processes that move towards the firming up of norms even if hard law status is not the formal objective. In this seminar I apply a socio-legal framework of the recursivity of lawmaking to better understand the current diversification of R2P implementation efforts across the UN and at the national level to make this argument.' A presentation on international relations at Australian National University. Thanks to Michael A. Crowe.

Burn platform that facilitates buy-in

"I’d like to tell you about our paradigm shift in strategic talent acquisition strategy which is leveraging value for all our stakeholders", one executive said. After a twenty-minute monologue, he took the final "deep dive into customer centric online interfacing", then mercifully stopped.

Before I could say a word, his colleague began. "By engaging our human capital", she said "we can create a burn-platform that facilitates buy-in". 'Insidious management speak has infected the land, from our boardrooms to our school halls, Andre Spicer, The Telegraph, 20 Sept, 2017.

An enhanced regulatory sandbox

'The Government is introducing a world-leading legislative financial services regulatory sandbox to enable new and innovative FinTech products and services to be tested in Australia. This will further boost Australia’s position as a global FinTech hub. Australian Budget 2017. Thanks to Jamie.

The payroll function is a single point dependency

Also known as a person.

Ramping up the long run value

'Organisations seeking to ramp up the efficiency of their asset management (AM) footprint intuitively turn to enhancing their AM activities, however, new research shows that placing more structural emphasis on organisational and governance related facets of operations can bring rise to more long run value.' Organisational effectiveness can boost asset management operations,  20 July 2017 Consultancy.uk.

The future is the ground of nonlocal mortality.

A random fictional quote from The Wisdom of Deepak Chopra. Thanks to David.

Innovation bootcamp

'Public sector organisations aspire to deliver greater value through continual innovation of service delivery models. This practical workshop will examine key insights from the recent report 'Hacking the Bureaucracy' on what tools and techniques can be practically applied to drive change in your work practice. 

Share and learn practical innovation practices through specific skill-sharing sessions which provide insights and examples of how to drive change in your day to day role.

IPAA Victoria Public Sector Week

Agile and innovative educational programs changing lives and [tomorrow] the world!

'The new Colleges are creating opportunities for interdisciplinary collaborations in both research and teaching that will transform outcomes. Students will benefit from enhanced support alongside agile and innovative educational programs. Our staff will benefit from improved access to executive decision-making and a reduction in “red-tape”.

The change will also transform professional staff support structures to maximise their capacity to enhance the core academic activities of the University.' Colin J Stirling
President and Vice-Chancellor, Flinders University, 3 July 2017. Thanks to Carleen. More from Mr Stirling in the strategic plan Making A Difference – The 2025 Agenda.

'Productive Engagement will be required across a range of networks for us to create the Impact that is core to our mission of changing lives and changing the world. We will celebrate diversity, strengthen community and government relationships, and expand our global reach through high quality international partnerships. Closer to home we will embrace our role as a catalyst in the knowledge economy, adding value through collaborations with business, industry and entrepreneurs to stimulate economic growth and bring about positive societal change.' [Their italics].

Grenfell tower deaths and 'perceived failings'

'The Tory leader of Kensington and Chelsea council, Nick Paget-Brown, has resigned in the wake of the Grenfell Tower fire, saying he accepts a "share of responsibility" for the "perceived failings".' The UK Independent, 1 July, 2017. Thanks to Maria who says: 'I am incredibly angry about this comment, which is, in my view, an attempt to weasel away an atrocity not an accident.'

Australian cricketers are 'internal customers'

'The suspicion lurks that CA’s board is drawn on by the vision splendid of a sleek, shiny, top-down controlled, matrix-managed corporate machine in which obedient automata meet hurdle rates of cricket return while a ­captive media yells rah-rah. Kevin Roberts apparently refers to cricketers as CA’s “internal customers” — there’s one for your next ­compendium, Don Watson.' Gideon Haigh,'Legacy of ill-will that could last a generation', The Australian, 1 July, 2017.

'Words chosen to withstand the scrutinies of inquest, investigation and enquiry.'

'The work and pensions secretary, David Gauke, gave an interview to Channel 4 News on Friday evening. As he tried to step deftly between ‘regulations’ and ‘guidance’ while saying nothing that would implicate him or his government in anything at all, it was almost inevitable that Gauke would slip. The speed at which he self-corrected ‘simplify the regulations’ to ‘simplify the guidance’ was remarkable. There was a startling lack of concrete nouns in Gauke’s language, and had it not been for the interviewer, Cathy Newman, you would hardly have known what events Gauke was talking about. He used the word ‘fire’ only twice in the six-minute interview, and despite Newman’s repeatedly asking whether the residents of Britain’s 4000 tower blocks could feel safe, Gaufe avoided using the words ‘safe’ or ‘safety’. He wasn’t speaking to the moment but to a probable future; his words had been chosen to withstand the scrutinies of inquest, investigation and enquiry. He said nothing that attributed responsibility to anyone or anything.' 'Nothing but feeling',  

Group Leader Business Improvement

Over recent years council has undergone a major transformation to meet the future needs of our community. 
We have a strong focus on  continuous improvement and innovation (sacking all the old staff, constantly changing the goals) led by people with fresh ideas - just like Woolworths - across the organisation -  the new word for council. Mainly because it's better not to repeat a word in a paragraph. Unless that word is innovation.  Or sustainability. Especially that one. Sustainability. Great. 
The new business improvement group will be a key player (wield an axe) in leading this change, driving our vision (that's right, the vision thing) in the pursuit of excellence and setting the pace (railroading employees and contractors) towards a transformed sustainable future (meaning.... whatever you would like it to mean - that's what makes sustainability such a great word. Here it is again: sustainability)
If you are driven by conquering challenges (trying to persuade reluctant people just doing their job to change what they are doing in order to satisfy some nebulous goal that even the councillors themselves don't understand) and want to work with a dynamic (constantly changing) and upbeat (falsely smiling) team, then this job is for you. 
Every day will present new challenges (expect a stand-up fight with a department head every day) and you will join a like-minded (bonkers), ambitious (pig-headed and unrealistic) team. 

Thanks to anonymous who offered this interpretation for the Coffs Harbour City Council position.

Technology Neutral

As in: 'The Coalition is committed to a technology-neutral approach to energy policy. This roadmap will further this commitment by supporting the development of innovative and low emissions technologies.' Josh Frydenberg, Minister for the Environment and Energy, 20 May 2016.

Visitor to this site have wondered if the term is an example of weasel words ('Are they really trying to sustain outdated modes of energy generation?). What do others thing. Send us your views.

Ric says:'It's definitely weasel. It's an obfuscation to allow more fossil fuels in the mix'.

'... the term is being used basically to do nothing and let market forces reign'. Thanks to Alan.

Key messages from the Nursing Workforce Governance Group

'The Nursing Workforce Governance Group (the Governance Group) met on 16 May 2017 and agreed the following key messages: 

  • The Governance Group agrees the current model of vocational training is not fit for purpose for meeting future needs. The model requires change to better suit the future needs of the community and should have greater transparency. The group is less certain contestability is an effective process for delivering the desired changes. A clear workforce strategy to guide decisions around disinvestment and reinvestment will be essential. 
  • The Governance Group continues to explore barriers to the effective utilization of primary health care nurses and to Nurse Practitioner employment. Research being conducted by Ian Axford fellow Amy Downes was instructive in coming to understand useful strategies for change.  
  • The Governance Group reviewed the findings from the 20 April 2017 Nursing Strategic planning day. The findings will give clear direction to the ongoing work of both the NNO group and the NWGG itself.  
  • The Governance Group is pleased that HWNZ is committed to putting more resource behind activating the decisions and directions of the taskforce.'

Email from Professor Jenny Carryer, Executive Director to the College of Nurses-Member Services. Thanks to Brian.

Unlocking value at Dreamworld

'Ardent said the review was “considering a number of important factors” including the “impact of recent events at Dreamworld”... and “analysis of the existing Dreamworld footprint to identify potential opportunities for unlocking value”.' News.com.au, 24 May, 2017. Thanks to John Williams.

Pardon?????

'Planning authorities and responsible authorities should endeavour to integrate the range of policies relevant to the issues to be determined and balance conflicting objectives in favour of net community benefit and sustainable development for the benefit of present and future generations’ ([Victorian] State Planning Policy Framework Clause 10.04).' Thanks to anonymous.

Tribes and scrum coaches at ANZ bank

'The bank will restructure into teams of about 10, known as "squads" that group into "tribes", replacing managers with coaches and product owners, who will be picked based on their adaptability and capacity to work collaboratively in multidisciplinary teams, rather than their work experience...
People who used to be managers may be included in teams, but won't retain their status as a manager. Scrum coaches will not be bosses. "That is not your boss, that's a coach, who is a peer. That product owner is not your boss, they're a product owner who defines the how, and you galvanise around that" ... 
It's not about technical skill, it's about do I have a growth mindset? Am I agile? Am I adaptable? Am I good at leading change?' 'ANZ blows up bureaucracy as Shayne Elliott takes the bank agile', Australian Financial Review, 1 May, 2017. Thanks to Jim.

holocaust centre 

'concentration camp, death camp; Auschwitz, Buchenwald, etc. Place where several million people, mainly Jews, were killed, most by chemicals. As in reception centre, shopping centre, etc.' Scott Spicer, White House press secretary.

chemical weapons

Not napalm; not Agent Orange - 245T (Trichlorophenoxyacetic acid) or 24D (dichlorophenoxyacetic acid); not depleted uranium (uranium 238) As, “Noting the birth defects in the Iraqi city of Fallujah, [Al Jazeera reporter Dahr] Jamail says: ‘They’re extremely hard to bear witness to. But it’s something that we all need to pay attention to ... What this has generated is, from 2004 up to this day, we are seeing a rate of congenital malformations in the city of Fallujah that has surpassed even that in the wake of the Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki that nuclear bombs were dropped on at the end of World War II.’” 

You may be an unlawful non-citizen.

'If you do not lodge an application within 30 days of the date of this letter, any status resolution support services payments you are receiving through the Department of Human Services may be ceased and you may lose access to financial hardship payment and other support services. Payments and services may only be restored if you lodge an application...

'If you do not lodge an application within 30 days of the date of this letter we may not grant you another bridging visa. This will mean you may be an unlawful non-citizen. You will lose access to Medicare and permission to work in Australia. The minister has the power to revoke his decision allowing you to lodge a visa application.' 'Thousands of asylum seekers given days to lodge complex applications or face loss of rights'. The Guardian, 27 February, 2017.

end-to-end student experience ... deep-dive review

'Additionally, to ensure a best in class end-to-end student experience is delivered with clarity of focus, a deep-dive review of a discrete set of student support activities will be progressed.' From a university. Thanks to Karen.

Optimise our product suite, leverage our scale...

'Utilise our unique data and insights, empower customers through data sharing, leverage infrastructure and capabilities into new populations, measurement focused on outcomes, improved transparency, alignment of incentives.' Some of Medibank Private's Strategic Priorities Beyond FY17. Thanks to anonymous.

Two days 'facilitation of leadership activities' = $50,000

One of the costs at an Australian Taxation Conference 'to "reinvent its technology team just weeks before a crash brought down the agency's website and internal systems.' The Age, 17 December, 2016.

US Central Command: Command Narrative

Our USCENTCOM Culture
Persistent Excellence

United States Central Command is recognized as a premier warfighting Combatant Command. We respond, we fight, we persist and we always conduct ourselves in accordance with our Service and American values. We strive to understand and help others to comprehend, with granularity and clarity, the complexities of our region. We recognize that trust cannot be surged in time of crisis and that every day, at every level, we must build confidence and reliance with all our partners. We inherently know that we must be alert, responsive and receptive to the challenges of the region and the interests of our Nation, Allies and partners. Our commitment to excellence reflects the efforts of the many dedicated military and civilian professionals - to include our coalition partners - directed towards improving security and stability in the 20-country Central Region.

Our Vision and Mission for the USCENTCOM Region
Stability - Security - Cooperation

We envision a more stable and prosperous region with increasingly effective governance, improved security, and trans-regional cooperation to counter state and non-state actors posing a threat to U.S. interests. To this end - our USCENTCOM mission is to direct and enable military operations and activities with allies and partners to increase regional security and stability in support of enduring U.S. interests.

Our Strategic Approach
Prepare - Pursue - Prevail

Our strategic approach is focused on protecting our national interests and those of our partners. It is designed to reflect our values, align our behaviors, and support the National Military Strategy. It is proactive in nature and endeavors to set in motion tangible actions in a purposeful, consistent and continuous manner. Each aspect of our approach - Prepare - Pursue - Prevail - enables the next and collectively contributes to the successful achievement of our goals, objectives and our overall mission.

Read more of the Command Narrative here.

'Asset recycling' - privatisation

'It also follows a bitter stoush over the federal asset recycling initiative following a decision by the Commonwealth to deny Victoria the full 15 per cent incentive payment for the $9.7 billion Port of Melbourne sale.' The Age 21 November, 2016.

'flywheel of reinvestment' -  privatisation

'Creating a flywheel of institutional capital participation to increase investments in infrastructure... We believe that Canada can create a flywheel of reinvestment in its infrastructure by catalyzing the participation of institutional capital in existing assets...'Advisory Council on Economic Growth (Canada)

Remuneration at Australia Post explained

'The  Australia Post senior executive remuneration strategy is intended to attract, motivate and retain the calibre of executives required to achieve its strategic priorities and create shareholder value, taking into consideration the increasingly competitive market for global executive talent.

The remuneration strategy links the strategic priorities of the company to a performance management scheme, which in turn influences senior executive remuneration by:

• aligning senior executive remuneration to corporate and individual performance outcomes, and ensuring approval by the Board before any bonus payments can be earned;
• considering external market remuneration when determining senior executive remuneration and reviewing on an annual basis;
• incentivising senior executives for achievement of longterm strategic outcomes and shareholder value, in addition to short-term business performance; and
• providing competitive levels of remuneration to attract and retain key talent...

In setting senior executive salary at Australia Post, the Board seeks a balance between:

• fixed annual remuneration (FAR), which aims to reward the MD & GCEO and senior executives for executing the core requirements of their role;
• short-term incentives (STI), which are at-risk and intended to reward individuals for their strategic contribution to transforming the company, separate to their core role requirements; and
• long-term incentives (LTI), which are also at-risk and can be earned upon achieving certain performance hurdles over a period of three years, at the complete discretion of the Board. Australia Post Remuneration Report 2016. ABC News, 28 February, 2017. CEO Ahmed Fahour was paid $5.6 million in 2016.

Growing customers at Telstra:

Telstra needs a strategic customer insights lead to help focus on enhancing customer lifetime value

'Telstra is gearing up to build a crack team of big data analysts as it prepares for what one commentator says will be the biggest year to date of NBN migration with 1.7m fixed line customers expected to be up for grabs.

The telco is advertising in Melbourne for a “strategic customer insights lead” to join a so-called “customer value creation team” that is tasked with “understanding our existing customers through quality, data-led insights and designing & delivering compelling offers that speak to our Consumer & Small Business customers in the right way, at the right time and through the right channels that achieve tangible results.”

As the Growing Our Customers Lead, you will working [sic] closely with analysts within your team in an effort to turn key customer insights into tested hypotheses which result in customer-led activity throughout our Consumer and Small Business channels,” the Telstra advertisement says.

“To achieve this, you'll work closely across Telstra (Product, Marketing, Big Data, Channels) in order to identify current and future customer value, understand need within specific customer micro-segments and capitalise on strategic market opportunities to deliver value. Working within the Growing Our Customers segments, you'll be strategically focused on specific customer episodes, such as Retention, Moves, Saves and Win Backs.”

“We've set up our Customer Value Creation team to focus on enhancing customer lifetime value through discovering quality, data-focused insights on our customer population and designing & delivering tailored offerings that benefit both sides of these relationships,” Telstra adds.' At Telstra, we believe in driving value from the core ... Thanks to David Epstein.

Recovery paradigms, framework, person with lived experience

'Bringing lived experience together with the expertise, knowledge and skills of mental health practitioners offers opportunities for profound cultural change in the way it challenges traditional notions of professional power and expertise. Given that a significant proportion of the mental health workforce has lived experience of mental health issues either in their own lives or in their close relationships, recovery paradigms help to break down the conventional demarcation between staff and people who use the service. Within recovery paradigms all people are respected for the experience, expertise and strengths they contribute...
The language of recovery
Consistent with the language of recovery, the terms ‘person’, ‘person in recovery’, ‘person with lived experience’, ‘lived expertise’ and ‘expert by experience/training’ are used wherever possible rather than the terms ‘clients’, ‘service users’ or ‘patients’, which focus on deficits or relationships to services (Recovery Devon 2012). For similar reasons, the framework uses the term ‘family and support people,’ which includes family members, partners, friends or anyone whose primary relationship with the person concerned is a personal, supportive and caring one.
Many people prefer the words ‘consumers’ and ‘carers’, and this is acknowledged in the framework...
Capabilities for recovery-oriented mental health practice
Recovery-oriented mental health practice refers to the application of sets of capabilitiesthat support people to recognise and take responsibility for their own recovery and wellbeing and to define their goals, wishes and aspirations.Capabilities for recovery-oriented practice and service delivery encompass underlying core principles, values, knowledge, attitudes and behaviours, skills and abilities. Individuals, teams and organisations need these capabilities in order to support people with mental health issues to live a meaningful and contributing life in their community of choice. Attaining and strengthening these capabilities is an ongoing process that takes time and commitment from leaders, professionals, staff and volunteers in mental health service provision.' A national framework for recovery-oriented mental health services, Australian Government Department of Health. Read the whole document, if you want, here. Thanks to anonymous.

Roadmap for Reform Implementation Advisory Group 

'Last week a cross-sector working group met, and we're now working together to draft a potential protocol for Victoria, under the watch of the Roadmap for Reform Implementation Advisory Group. We're thrilled with the progress and would love if a protocol were finalised and launched this year.' Victoria Legal Aid, 25 January, 1917. Thanks to Adrian.

Never said invited, no, never ...

'Never said we were invited, just that we had 'invitations' and 'were gifted tickets' ... 'Received' an invite and 'invited' are very different things.' One Nation Senator Roberts on social media after the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade confirmed he had repeatedly sought an invitation to the ceremony through Australian officials. The Age, 19 January, 2017.

A Multiplicity of Multiples

Rolf Bueskens asks can there be too many multiples: 'Until recently, the word ‘multiple’ tended to have a specific usage: multiple births, multiple choice etc., whereas these days it is used in instances where one would expect words/expressions like several, many, a number of, a lot of etc. How does this happen?' Below are examples found by Rolf.

'In contrast, the ACT government has required an Energy Efficiency Rating for the sale or rent of residential properties since 1999, with multiple reports showing the benefits to property value and to reduced running costs.'

'However, she fails to mention that youth offenders on remand will have received multiple prior opportunities such as cautions, corrections orders, community orders and bail before a magistrate is finally left with no choice but to remand the youth.'

'Revised cash flow projections and capital requirements modelled for multiple operating scenarios.'

'Multiple production scaling paths exist to extend production beyond the capacity...' 

'Installers have deployed systems in multiple states and for a variety of end-customer applications.'

'Small sales of further ZBM2 products have also been delivered and deployed (from production during the last quarter) in multiple European countries.'

'The Redflow sales team is working diligently to establish a recurrent order flow from our existing integration partners in multiple countries...'

'Travelling from Adelaide to Darwin, The Ghan makes multiple stops.'

Visibility

As in: 'I haven't had any visibility on that'. Replacement for 'I don't know', used in meetings at a NSW TAFE. Thanks to anonymous.

A MORE INNOVATIVE AND AGILE AUSTRALIA

'New ideas in innovation and science will be major drivers of Australia’s future economic prosperity. We are working with other government agencies ... as they develop and implement initiatives that encourage innovation and increase our nation’s productivity and competitiveness...

There are currently no event items for this topic.' Australian Department of Prime Minister and Cabinet. Latest News dated 7 December, 2015.

Pain points

'I know we’ve been experiencing some pain points with some of our systems...' Vice Chancellor, La Trobe University in an address to staff. Thanks to anonymous.

'Here’s an introduction to the state of play for millennials, their perils and pain points, and how brands can use this insight to reposition their marketing ... Brands need to leverage the millennial mindset – and do it authentically.' The Mongrel

XERA Pain Point Eliminator TM.

'... corporate jargon about values has absolutely no relationship with firm performance.'

'Most companies have mission and vision statements, but those tend to communicate very little about a company’s purpose ...They all use the same words, such as ‘respect’, ‘teamwork’ and ‘innovation’ but … a recent study found that corporate jargon about values has absolutely no relationship with firm performance.' Researchers George Serafeim and Claudine Gartenberg at Harvard Business Review in 'Drive your company’s ‘purpose’ to boost business', HC Online, 25 October, 2016. And what led to '... superior accounting and stock market performance'? - management having 'a clear view of where the organisation is going and how to get there'. Quelle suprise!

The Quality and Communications team will now report to the Manager, Partnerships and Engagement (previously Partnerships and Campuses) ...

'(We) have undertaken a review of the position of Deputy Director, Strategy and Planning. As a result of this review, reporting lines for some of the Strategy and Planning team will change.  The Quality and Communications team will now report to the Manager, Partnerships and Engagement (previously Partnerships and Campuses), with a title change for this position to recognise the broader community and industry engagement strategies of the university. The Manager, Partnerships and Engagement will now report to the Deputy Director, Learning and Engagement (previously Deputy Director, Learning and Teaching). The Digital Experience team will also report to the Deputy Director, Learning and Engagement, and the Copyright Advisor will report to the Deputy Director, Research and Collections. A new position will be established: Manager, Library Business Services. This position will have responsibility for coordinating the Library's budget preparation and day to day management of the budget; overseeing the integration of relevant University activities and projects into the Library via the Finance, ICT, Infrastructure and Operations and Human Resources business partners; leading the implementation of the Library's space planning strategy and facilities standards at all campuses, including sponsorship of facilities projects; developing best practice human resource management practices and workforce planning for the library; and providing strategic advice on risk management in the Library, including business continuity planning and OHS. The Facilities team and the Administration team will report to the Manager, Library Business Services, along with a new part-time Executive Officer position.' Email from the La Trobe University Librarian to library staff. Thanks to anonymous.

The goal was to start an initial conversation around framing the key issues facing COAG going forward.

Quote from Acting PMC Secretary Andrew Tongue's all staff message titled Tongue in cheek, 9 September, 2016. In reference to the first COAG Senior Officials meeting held on 2 September. Thanks to anonymous.

Catalysts shaking the innovation trees

'In this feature, TIME explores individuals who are truly breaking through the clutter of the next big thing and serving as catalysts in a meaningful way, on a larger scale. Sure, a start-up can embody innovation but what about the change makers within corporations who are shaking innovation trees? What does it take to sustain that spirit?'

Solution Consultant - can you translate your system functionality?

'The Solution Consultant is an integral part of the Business Technology Partner team, and will work closely with the Business Technology Partner, Business Analyst and Consulting Architect to build trusted business relationships and deliver innovative technology solutions. Leading the translation of complex business requirements into technical solutions the Solution Consultant supports the Architecture & Business Roadmaps by utilising a breadth of skills covering business analysis, consulting, problem solving, solution design and basic project management in their day to day operations. Specific accountabilities include:

Leading high level business requirements identification and translation into system functionality using a range of techniques as required.' Job ad at RMIT. Thanks to Mark Eggins.

Vision, purpose, values ...

'Our Vision: Adviser of choice to the world's minerals industry
Our Purpose:To optimize the value of the world's mineral resources
Our Values: ... we are client-focused ...we act with integrity ...
AMC Consultants, 13th South Australian Exploration and Mining Conference, 2 December 2016. Thanks to John who told us he was reading Don Watson's Death Sentence on the flight to the conference and nearly fainted when this this came up on the screen.

Activate your scenarios and leverage private sector investment

Implementation of the master plan, to achieve the aspired vision ...includes:
1. Design and development parameters to ensure the conservation and appropriate adaptive reuse of the park’s heritage buildings.
2. Activation scenarios for investment at the park’s Quarantine Station and modelling of different activation scenarios.
3. Cost planning, outlining by category and priority the master plan’s key initiatives.
4. Catalyst projects: identifying projects that can achieve significant social return and can leverage private sector investment in support facilities and services.
5. A cost and benefit analysis of the master plan’s key initiatives, including economic and employment opportunities, Traditional Owner benefits and environmental and social outcomes.
6. Governance criteria for the Quarantine Station’s future management arrangement.
Point Nepean National Park Draft Master Plan Summary Document, Parks Victoria. Thanks to Brian Simpson.

Events and the Australian census

'The events varied in nature and severity ... the following confluence of events occurred ...At the time of these events ... Had these events occurred in isolation ... ASD are investigating these events ... Following the Census, there will be a review of events.' 2016 Census - 9 August online form outage update.

Off-boarding

'Your responsibilities will include but not be limited to: Coordinate the exiting operational requirements for employee off-boarding.' From SEEK. Thanks to Jenny.

Measureable life outcomes

'New programs for the homeless link taxpayer funding to outcomes, making service providers more accountable for the impacts their programs have on those they seek to serve ... In contrast, Pay For Success means government funding is tied to measureable life outcomes.' Matthew Tyler, economist, The Drum, ABC, 4 August, 2016. Thanks to Robert Boot.

Your taxes at work - at the Australian Tax Office (ATO)

'As part of our response to the recommendations in the June 2015 report of the Post implementation review of ATO consultative arrangements, the Not-for-profit Advisory Group will now be known as the Not-for-profit Stewardship Group.

The name change does not alter the purpose of the group, and we continue to support its excellent work ...

The 2013 Review applied the Australian Government Consultation Principles in assessing the effectiveness and utility of the consultative arrangements the ATO then had in place. Those principles, and now part of the Regulator performance framework, were used in this review to assess the effectiveness of the ATO’s consultative arrangements ...

The aim of the Framework is to encourage regulators to undertake their functions with the minimum impact necessary to achieve regulatory objectives and to effect positive ongoing and lasting cultural change within regulators.' Thanks to anonymous.

Cultural externalities

What the Australian Productivity Commission calls books.

Brexit is a 'heartbreaking wake-up call' – and other meaningless political clichés used this week

'When I heard this, I reached for my trusty copy of Watson’s Dictionary of Weasel Words, Contemporary Clichés, Cant and Management Jargon, the Australian-authored manual of verbal sewage, published in Sydney 12 years ago and essential reading for all readers and listeners.

And sure enough, there is “challenge”, on page 61: supposedly a call to fight or “things to do” – like defeating Osama bin Laden or solving a crossword puzzle – but in reality a cliché of politesse and big business. As in, “fiscally challenged” (which the UK certainly is), or something to be done to meet “challenging customer requirements”.' Robert Fisk in The Independent, 30 June, 2016.

© Bruce Petty.