Government (previous quotes now in a PDF file)

'We will review the risk signage at the site ... We consult with stakeholders at the end of each season'. Parks Victoria ranger Frank Gleeson after a woman drowned at a beach in Victoria. The Age, 24 January 2012.

Pillars of impact
'Each objective under each pillar has been assessed on the basis of whether or not it would impact the other pillars as described in the Action Plan. For example under the Economic Pillar, when we manage growth and use land wisely it would impact not just the Economic Pillar but also the other four pillars by contributing to assessment growth (Financial), a high quality and safe living environment (Social), natural habitat preservation (Environment) and wise decisions with public input (Governance).' From Oshawa City's strategic plan. DurhamRegion.com, 26 January, 2012.

Mobile Presentation Attendant - what Queensland Rail calls a cleaner. Thanks to Sara Brewer

CenITex Security Bulletin: Beware of malicious emails circulating with 'Strategic Planning' as the subject matter
CenITex advises that malicious email messages are currently being sent to Australian Government agencies with themes relating to "Strategic Planning". The emails are well crafted and appear to be from the webmail accounts of senior Australian Government personnel. Thanks to Nicole.

'The integration of enabling services provided the opportunity to review the Centrelink strategic committee framework in the broader context of portfolio responsibilities.'

'The Workforce Renewal Incentive Program enables each agency to review its organisational profile, and to make judgments about which areas would benefit from workforce renewal, by offering a financial incentive to employees or groups of employees to voluntarily leave the State Service.

The program is not a redundancy program and consequently does not involve the abolition of positions. It provides the ability to import new skills and capabilities into the workforce.' Department of Premier and Cabinet, Tasmania.

'The Department of Education and Training requires the services of a firm with expertise in Business Intelligence (BI) to develop a 5 year strategic road map/plan. The road map/plan will be used to implement a BI capability framework to meet the vision “To drive learning productivity”.' Queensland Department of Education tender summary of what they are hoping prospective tenders will be able to provide. Thanks Steve.

"Social impact bonds" are a coalition scheme where private investors put cash into solving social problems, then the government pays back the investors over time, supposedly on cash "saved" by the investment.' 'Trading in Humans, by Solomon Hughes, Morning Star, 21 October, 2011.

'BESTSELLING novelist Christos Tsiolkas has delivered a backhander to ABC management over plans to replace Radio National's The Book Show with a general culture program, describing the move as "a dumbing down, regardless of the doublespeak, evasions and weasel words used to cloak it".' The Australian, 21 September, 2011.

'With the end of the 'Malaysian solution' what is the best idea for asylum seeker processing going forward.' ABC The Drum poll, 1 Sept. 2011. Thanks to Trevor.

'A JUDGE has dismissed as ''corporate speak'' Victoria Police explanation that poor work practices were responsible for many investigators breaching basic legal principles by making unsworn affidavits.' The Age, 7 October, 2011.

'THE operating budget of Hobart's major public hospital is about to be sliced by $70 million $30 million more than disclosed by health officials in July ... "We don't want any more weasel words or spin. The time is up".' AMA Tasmanian John Davis quoted in an article in The Mercury, 5 August, 2011.

Elusive tri-saw fulcrum

'Trying to find agreement on the mission, vision and culture is I agree no easy task.  Sew-sawing - or Tri-sawing in this case - to reach a balance between the three; which may involve for one, stepping on the leaver points for the other two, or vice versa; searching for that centre, finding the fulcrum that is ever elusive.
The reality is that the fulcrum of any strategic plan, not just this one, constantly changes.  If you're aiming to achieve rhythmic harmony with the strategic plan as a fulcrum for the future, you may simply be setting yourself up to fail.
The unsavoury reality is that the fulcrum for this strategic plan, and many others, never really stabilise, entering an arrhythmic harmony; a harmony, with an irregular beat that is governed by the tides of the environment in which we work. Not quite right, but close enough, to work with the constantly moving tides.' A reply to a blog which outlined the 'Strategic Plan – Mission, Vision and Culture' on the Department of Agriculture, Fisheries and Forestry site. Thanks to Karl.

'"Officers brought the situation under control and the photographer was de-arrested and subsequently released."' Police invent a word for the false arrest of a photographer, Greenslade Blog, Guardian.co.uk, 14 June 2011.

'DVA is seeking an experienced manager with demonstrated experience in citizen centric personalised web-information services.' Found on the Australian Public Service jobs website. Thanks to David Markham.

'The ABC has a new information Communication and Technology (ICT) Strategy focussed on content sharing...
We will START...
Taking a proactive approach to communicating and collaborating on ICT trends that have cross ABC impacts
Ensuring that all impacted stakeholders are consulted during the initiation phase of projects...
Leveraging our vendors to ensure we get maximum value from our investment...
We will CONTINUE...
Becoming agile and flexible in order to respond to changes in audience needs...
Enhancing project methodologies to ensure we have "fit for purpose" approaches to all projects...
We will CHANGE...
Taking a short term and siloed approach to the design and implementation of ICT solutions...
Taking at times a "give birth and move on" approach to projects and underestimating the need for additional handover and benefits tracking activities...' Thanks to anonymous.

'Life was meant to be easy is a brand owned by the Moorabool community; Council simply facilitates its promotion on behalf of residents. The strength of this campaign lays in support from local business and community groups working together to promote a unified brand.'

Feds must stop writing gibberish under new law

Instead of this advice:

"Timely preparation, including structural and non-structural mitigation measures to avoid the impacts of severe winter weather, can avert heavy personal, business and government expenditures. Experts agree that the following measures can be effective in dealing with the challenges of severe winter weather."

Expect more like this advice:

"Severe winter weather can be extremely dangerous. Consider these safety tips to protect your property and yourself." Associated Press Washington.

Media alert 7 April 2011: Community Safety and Crime Prevention Partnership Plan Official Launch
The first Community Safety and Crime Prevention Partnership Plan for Macedon Ranges Shire will be officially launched in Gisborne next week.
The Plan was initiated by the Local Safety Committee with support from Macedon Ranges Shire Council and has been developed in partnership with key local agencies and communities. The Plan focuses on important and emerging areas and issues where the community can work together to enhance the happiness, health and safety of residents, visitors and workers in the Macedon Ranges Shire.
The Plan provides a set of over-arching areas of focus designed to link with established and new partnerships and initiatives that address current and emerging wellbeing and safety issues in the community. Thanks to anonymous.

Don Watson award?
'WHEN he's not doing battle against the burka, Liberal senator Cory Bernardi is doing his doughty bit to rescue the English language. Here he is in action Senate Estimates this week, chatting with Immigration Department officials about visa issues:

Official: "I was saying that we have a planning range: for example for 2009-10, it was around 50-55,000 for the family program. For partners, maybe less. Anyhow, we have a planning range within the migration program. . . . we have to operate within that planning range. We can't grant more visas than the government of the day accepts will be in the migration program as part of the family program."

Bernardi: "There's a cap on it?"

Official: "There is no cap and that's another issue that successive governments have not introduced any legal powers for the department to cap visas, especially in the partner category."

Bernardi: "Just to interrupt though, that if there's a planning range, that's got to put a cap on it, doesn't it? . . . I'm still struggling with the sophistry of: there is no cap but there is a planning range in which you're unable to go over."

Immigration Department secretary Andrew Metcalfe: "There is no cap within the legal definition of the Migration Act but in terms of normal language there is a planning limit which you might call a cap."

Bernardi: "Bureaucratic doublespeak."

Metcalfe: "It's very, very bureaucratic and I'm sorry, senator."

This surely warrants awarding Bernardi the Order of Don Watson.' James Jeffrey, The Australian, 24 Feb, 2011.

(previous quotes now in a PDF file)

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